the end is Nigh

Its weird how 9 months became 8 then 7 and 6 and finally just a day. We land in the UK on the 23/12 and have spent our last few days wandering the bazaars to pick up those last few pirated DVD's we just can't live without, fitting Roz up with prescription glasses and me with tailored shirts, and enjoying our last hours with the uber spending power of a foreigner in India . We've had a fantastic time but are looking forward to getting back to the real world.

It's been an amazing trip and India with its extreme weirdness was a fitting end. We've been playing a game to try and remember everywhere we've spent the night from the swankiest- (the Mahrani suite in an old Fort in Orchha) to the most manky (probably the hotel without a shower in Bishkek- most of the rooms were converted into sweatshops with people sowing stuff 24hours and we only discovered there was another westerner there when we heard him being propositioned by a prostitute outside our room) and the wierdest (probably the night spent on a bed in someones back garden in Aralsk, Kazakstan). We've met some lovely people- from everyone who gave us food and booze in Georgia to Major Alok (retired) 15th Gurka regement who took us to his house, gave us a bed for the night and regailed us with stories of his time in the Army over a "Snifter" of Whiskey.

We've made a vow not to bore you too much when we get home and will have to do a lot of editing to our holiday snaps before we show them to anyone (we have 18gig each). If you've read this you probably know more than we remember anyway!!

sexy temples and lunch

have put the tamest sexy picture here to save offending parents but some of the gymnastic carvings were really quite eye opening!

Orchha

Beautiful place with loads of temples and forts slowly being eaton by the jungle

Agra

the misty Taj and the marble palace in Agra fort- seems like everything in Agra is marble!

Sadu by the Ghat in Varanasi

nothing on earth was going to persuade me to go swimming in there!

Tiger hunting

Oh for a better zoom! here is us with Oly, the young and sprightly elephant that we chased a tiger on. It felt a bit like the days of Raj except no one had a gun, our only defence was the drivers pointy stick!

Chandigar unIndian India

a weird place, built buy a team led by Le Corbusier, replete with a rock garden created from junk buy a former rubbish collecter. Incedently its also where the Comando's live (thats Roz holding a gun)

hobnobbing with D. Llama

Contary to what you read in the papers the Dali Llama does not live in the exotic sounding town of Daramasala, he lives in a small town up the road called Mcleod Ganj which has a less sexy name. We've been here with a large group of the world's press for the past few days. On our first day we wandered around following the CNN camera man trying to get in shot and overhear people being interviewed to try and work out what was happening- it turned out to be a sort of extraordinary general meeting.

Anyway its a nice place, we visited the rather harrowing museum and have been walking in the hills. We also had cooking lessons. This being India, and a bit of Tibet, every other person in town offers massage courses, meditaion courses, crystal therapy, chakra cleaning and a million other routes to salvation...we opted for salvation through the stomach and are now the maharaja and maharani of Momo making (dumplings).

We also visited Aramitsar and stayed with the pilgrims at the golden temple. The Sikhs were all increadibly friendly and hospitable and everyone and their wife wanted pictures with us.

Amritsar is also the jumping off point for Pakistan and we piled into the back of a jeep with a load of Indians for the border closing ceremony. It's a sight to behold; bus loads of people fill the grandstands on both sides of the border while they warm the crouds up with patriotic techno music (the UK needs some patriotic techno music). Everyone waves flags and dances while the soldiers warm up round the back (you get a better view from the VIP stand where we were sitting and you could see them doing star jumps and calf stretches). A MC whips the crowd up in earnest at 4.30 with chants of Hindustan and Pakistan from the respective camps. the soldiers all then take turns to rush up to the border wrench open the gate and high kick in front of each other their moustaches bristling furiously. The culmination is the simultaneous lowering of the flags which are then spirited at great speed back to their respective customs posts to cheers. It was a real carnival atmosphere, with popcorn sellers and everything.

Next stop is Chandigar the modernist punjab capital (the old one is in Pakistan) and then meandering down south so we have a tan in time for Chrimbo- less than one month to go!!!

Jodpur- the Blue city with an amazing fort

Pushkar Festival

no meat, no booze, no holding hands. But thousands of pilgrims and camels and also loads of people from the Punjab who all carry spears and swords and think its funny that I have no hair or beard. hmph

Jaipur (aledgedly the red city but really jus a bit orangy)

rickshaws and trains- one is more comfy than the other

Bombay traffic rules

Big in Bollywood

Hi from manic Mumbai

After Australia it's a bit of a culture shock wading into the seething mass of people thronging every street and the crazy drivers trying to outdo each other on the roads but its great fun. We've been staying at the Salvation army rest house and eating the most amazing curries and snacks- all lovely and spicy.

On Sunday we were shipped off with 30 other Westerners to Bollywood, to star in "Yuvraaj" after we were scouted wandering around looking lost. It was odd to see all the hippies shedding their fisherman's pants and tie die for suits and ball gowns but we all scrubbed up fairly well- especially Roz with her bright orange lipstick and croyden facelift- courtesy of the make up department (it was telling that all the real stars did there own!). None of the clothes we were given fitted but it did not seem to matter and we spent the whole day swaying and cheering along to Bollywood tracks while the stars pouted and gave cheesy grins to the camera. The whole affair was wonderfuly badly run especially when it turned out that they did not have enough dancers at one point and had to recruit some hippies and teach them a quick routine (girls only and Roz did not want to volunteer). The results were fairly hit and miss as waving your arms around to trance music on a beach and thinking you are dancing is less tricky than actually dancing. At the end we got paid 7 pounds for the day- possibly the lowest I have ever been paid for a days work!.

Anyhow- we've seen ads on TV and the posters on virtually every bus side. Amazingly the film is out on the 24th November so check it out at a cinema near you! Got some great photos which we'll put up when we find fast internet.

I'm in the backgorund somewhere

The three amigos

Hi from OZ

Having just left Liam at the airport we are two again, We've had a fantastic time in Oz, mainly eating and drinking (Liam's influence).

In our rental car we pootled down the coast from Byron to Melbourne. We had 2 CDs; "Rocktober" and "Now!thats what I call winter 2008" and Tessa the surfboard on the roof (along with a a couple of pairs of my underpants; boxers turned out to be very good for stopping rattling noises at high speeds). The Hippies in Nimbin almost choked on their weed when we turned up in a Renault Megan with "Fat bottomed girls" blasting out of the sound system. It's been a fantastic trip despite the leeaches and ticks in the rainforest in grafton, the occasional rain and the freak Liam-destroying wave.

In Sydney we caught up with Izzy from Bristol, God mother Vanessa and Eugine, Sonal and V from AMV and the lovely people in Sutherland A&E who pumped Liam so full of morphine he passed out for 3 hours.

In Melbourne we caught up with Aida ,Chris and Sue from Clemenger, visited wineries and discovered the astonishing cost of shipping wine and surfboards to the UK.

We're currently staying in a scuzzy Manly hostel (Roz rather rather primly declared that it looked like a 14 year olds bedroom when we walked into the dorm this morning) ahead of our flight back to the unknown and on to India.

Thanks to everyone who put us up and took us out and to the guys at home for the exceedingly comfy hotel accommodation in Sydney and Melbourne.

Onwards...

Australia- and then there were 3

two 30 year olds and a 29 year old (who got id'ed)

Hong Kong in the Sun

Thai Chi on the front in Kowloon, tea in a tea shop and cocktails on the 41st floor

crazy Tokyo

Crazy Tokyo- mad city, crazy fish market, amazing sushi

we made it to Tokyo!

Hello from Japan, home of the grape flavoured Kitkat and the streetside beer vending machine (if you can reach the coin slot you can have a beer). Its also where Hollywood stars make their pocket money. Tommy Lee Jones is the face of Suntory "Boss" iced coffee and Jenifer Love Hewitt comes clean about her skin problems and how a certain cosmetic brand came to her rescue on TV.

We've visited shrines where there are lots of novel ways to make the experience more fun; lucky dip chose your deity, walk between the stones of true love, crawl through the hole of longlife (bit of a squeeze) and drink the water of good luck among others.

We've also spent a lot of time soaking- if you ever feel remotely stressed Japan is the place to come- the whole place is bubbling with hot springs and lovely little bath houses for soaking- its a little wasted on us as the most stressful thing we do on a day to day basis is choose some where to eat (ohh the choice!).

Anyhow we've manage to secure Sumo tickets for this afternoon then we have 10 days in Tokyo and the surrounds before we have to get on a plane- may have to send a few tonnes of stuff home first to avoid the excess baggage. hope everyone is good at home.